Butterfly Serials 2.5

Pain Helps You Find Your Wings; Butterfly Serials 2.5

© 2024 by Amber Wright

June 1973.

Liza Reno sat reading the diary she'd brought with her. It was neatly typed but it was a very old story, just rewritten. “Girls, listen to this!”

Date: First Century A.D.

Place: Roman Province of Lydia

We were the butterfly girls. It took pain to help us find our wings. I am Tiria and I am writing this from Brittania, but our story began a long time ago in the land of Lydia.

“What are we wearing, Dinah?” Liza declared, looking down at the thick cloth she was wearing.

“It's robes, Liza—you've sent us back to the first century! Where are we?”

“Turkey,” Bibi replied. She looked comfortable with her dark brown robe and matching veil. “Why are we here for though?”

“Well, I've just got back from Casablanca last night while you were touring Munich but I didn't expect to come back to the Middle East so soon.”

“I'm guessing this Tiria has something really important to show us. Might explain what being a butterfly girl is all about.”

“Let's go!” Dinah led the way.

Rain was falling softly in a warm misty shower. Liza pulled down the brown veil over her face to shield the rain. The three girls wore the same brown robes and veils.

• • •

Soft rain fell over them but at least it wasn't the downpour Junia expected. Everything else was so upsetting. Andronika was going to Thyatira. Tarsus was going to Troas; Claudia and Chloe to Ephesus. They were all scattering like the wind. Now the only people in the fishing boat with her was Tiria, her family and the in-laws.

The Roman steering the fishing boat had put on plain brown robes and rowed with expert strokes, despite the foaming waves.

• • •

“Row harder!” Liza shouted at the girls, in the middle of a foaming sea in a fishing boat. Their brown robes covered them from head to toe.

“That Junia girl looks depressed,” Liza added cheerfully. “I wonder what's going on.”

“They're hiding from the Romans who are after to kill them—Domitian's orders,” Bibi explained. “He declared himself a god and killed a lot of Christians during his reign.”

“Who's this Junia?” Dinah asked.

“She's Saint John's friend,” Bibi rowed along. “I think she marries the guy who helps John write the scrolls of the original Bible.”

“Where are we now?” Liza felt the stormy wind against her face and wondered how long she could keep rowing in this weather.

“The Aegean Sea,” Bibi didn't seem the least bit exhausted. She always liked telling them bits of history. “Saint John is in the isle of Patmos right now, and so is Demetrius—Junia's friend. No wonder she's sad.”

“How horrible!” Liza looked back at Junia.

• • •

Junia stared at the foaming waves rollicking around them and shivered with cold.

It was supposed to be summer.

But night had fallen and so had the sun.

Junia squinted through the rain and wind fiercely, Let these stormy waters of the Aegean Sea guide us to the place where You have chosen—despite the rain, despite the cold, and despite the storm in my soul. Despite everything!

Time seemed to stand still.

Junia knew Tiria was frowning at her before she saw her so she said through rattling teeth, “I'm cold.”

As if that explained why she was staring into the dripping rain for minutes on end.

“Stop shaking!” Tiria hissed back at her, teeth rattling. “We don't need your tidal wave washing us overboard.”

Tiria turned away and Junia willed her knees to be still even if they became blocks of wood in the process. But as soon as we land, I'm rattling my toes to my heart's content, even if they are half-frozen and hurt as they come back to life. I'm freezing! Why does it have to be so c-cold?

• • •

The next thing Liza knew, the girls were waking up in an ancient looking tent. At least the sun was shining and it was warmer.

“Let's go see what those girls are up to!” Liza excitedly lead the way.

They peeked through the crack of Junia's tent.

“My back aches me clear to my ribs,” Tiria sat there cross legged. “First holding Nika for two days straight, and then this hard ground!”

Junia had a puffy morning face, “I'm sorry—truly. You deserve better things.”

Tiria replied with a growling noise, standing up and washing her face in the bowl of water. She dried it with her veil and muttered, “My blanket—so says Polycarp.”

Liza watched as Tiria's face fell sharply.

“He's going to Ephesus to help Timotheos—so he says,” her voice was bitter. “But he's probably going there because Claudia is going there. And Claudia and Dorcus looked alike.”

“Polycarp's dead fiancee,” Bibi whispered.

“Now, now. Smile!” Junia tried to cheer up Tiria. “Saint Paul says, rejoice everymore.”

Tiria sent Junia a withering glance. “I happen to be the one who said that over five month ago. I know. But I just don't feel like it.”

The girls chatted for a couple minutes.

Tiria started to leave the tent, “Breakfast never makes itself.”

“Go on, I'll be out there in a little bit.”

“When it's all ready, you mean, Junia!”

Liza watched Tiria make breakfast over a fire. Fried fish and lentils for breakfast. I guess that is pretty healthy, she thought.

• • •

Tiria stared moodily up at the cloudless sky. “At least the sun is shining.”

“You sound so grateful,” Junia spooned more lentils into her mouth, making a slurping noise.

Tiria frowned. “You sound so dignified.”

“No, I just got a noisy bowl.”

Where is Junia's mind? Mars. Or shall we say... Pluto! Tiria dipped her wooden spoon into the thick soup and pinched a piece of flatbread to dip into it. The color of the soup caught her eye and sharp mind. Slimy green but tasty—that's me!

Tiria made a gurgling choke and had to drink a long, slow portion of water to catch her breath. At least I'm smiling—although it nearly cost me my life. Oh well...life can't be all that bad. Actually, it's kind of nice right now. In a couple of days or so we'll be in Ikaria—some island where I shall never frown. Or would she? “I wonder if we'll be safe in Ikaria.”

Junia swallowed her swishing mouthful before speaking. “I wonder. Paul, don't pinch me like that. It hurts.”

“Eli's not here,” Paul jutted his bottom lip out.

“He will be here tonight,” Junia told the little boy in a reassuring way.

• • •

The news hit her like a blow. How? Why? Why! Junia's mind screamed. Not Tarsus. Not Noah. Not Philippi and Dalmatia. Or the rest. It can't be!

Tiria put an arm around her. “Tarsus, Noah...” her voice was thick and like a moan.

And the poor sheep, Junia felt her shoulders sag, tremble and ache with pain that came straight from her heart. They were gone, the shepherd family and the others with them.

“And to think—we caused it!” Tiria sobbed.

Junia pulled away slightly, silently declaring, You can cry on my shoulder but not in my ear. What are you doing, trying to give me a deliberate earache? Earache. Guilt stabbed into her. What a trivial matter compared to this.

Paul was still sobbing over her sister Rhoda's shoulder. Eli had not come. Lucius, Eli and the Roman family were going to a village near the Hermus River with a small group of persecuted believers from Smyrna.

But the ship bound for Troas had encountered a storm—a bad one. Junia bit her lip to stifle a sob as images of her friends flashed before her, swirling around in murky waters of darkness, struggling to breathe.

Junia found tears splashing down her face. The salt water of tears would heal the infection of the hole in her heart but there would always be a part of her missing. The little scar would remain, to remind her of happy days with the kind shepherd family. Her tears fell harder.

God, why did this happen? I know there is a reason—but why! It's all our fault. How can I ever live with my conscience knowing that...? Junia could not finish but buried her face into her veil.

Minutes later, Junia's sniffles finally stopped, and she was poured out of tears.

So it had come to this. The shepherd family who had saved them nearly six months before were now lost to the sea.

• • •

Tiria felt a groan in her utmost being as she gripped a cup of water. Water. What a way to die! It was not fair, for them—for her. Deep down—yes, for deep down was where nobody but her and God could see—she ached.

No one would ever understand her. She did not expect them to. But she loved her family and friends with undying love.

True, Tiria sniffled, gazing up at the crescent of a moon that gently stared down at her, I may growl and frown and complain and everything else terrible—but I do really love them all terribly, despite myself. Despite them misunderstanding me. Despite the fact that I am Tiria. She made a noise similar to that of a bear in pain.

Horrified, Tiria bit down on her tongue, hoping that would keep her hideous noises to herself. Being Tiria was the worst thing in the world, she thought, almost as bad as being Lucius.

She found a smile inside her.

Although she had never liked Lucius romantically, they seemed to understand each other's sour ways. And they had respected each other.

Tiria started clearing her throat to clear the mucus from her throat and began to choke.

“Are you alright?” Nicolas sounded concerned and handed her his cup of herbal tea.

“Yes,” came her croak. She drank the tea and the mucus slid down her throat by the gulpfuls. Why did it have to taste so horrible?

“You don't sound like it.”

“I am!” Tiria snapped.

Nicolas looked away, offended.

Quickly, she extended her hand to him. “Sorry, Nicolas—truly.”

Nicolas took her hand and slowly nodded.

Dazed, Tiria jerked her hand back with a frown. Just dazed! No, Tiria—Nicolas is not finally falling in love with you, after all those years of chasing him! Don't be silly. She glanced over at Junia who seemed to be in a stupor, watching the waves crash against the rocks below.

“Come on, Honey.” Tiria tugged her friend's arm. “You need some sleep.”

“Don't mention honey!” Junia made a groan, looking fully back into the present. “I'm craving it. Goodnight, Nicolas.”

“Goodnight, Junia.” Nicolas sounded so sad, “And goodnight, Tiria.”

“Goodnight,” Tiria gave him a small smile; then, she steered Junia in the direction of their tent. Overhead, the moon lit their way in the darkness so they could see to step.

Goodnight, she took a very slow, sad breath, dear shepherd family. God rest you.

• • •

The tidal wave would not stop crashing in her heart as Junia laid her head onto her pillow, as she imagined Tarsus' voice tittering in the silent air as she closed her eyes.

Noah's boyish grin popped into her vision as she tried staring at the tent's ceiling to fall asleep. Still, nothing worked to bring sleep to her. Her brain spun crazily, not slowing down a bit.

The shepherd family kept rolling across her eyelids even when she closed them.

Junia gave up trying not to think and thought of all the good times they had had together in those short months in the cave. She found herself settling into a fitful sleep.

When morning came, Junia's eyes felt heavy and her spirit felt worn. I'd better hurry and eat before I bite a big chunk out of everyone. Please no, Tiria, don't stare at my horribly puffy eyes!

But Tiria still stared at her with a little odd, faraway smile.

“Yes, Tiria, my eyes are puffy!” Junia sighed.

“I was just remembering about that time...” Tiria's smile faded. “Tarsus.”

Junia nodded.

After breakfast, they started on their journey in land. Sand filled Junia's sandals and made her toes feel like blisters as the grittiness rubbed against them. Turfs of tall grass grew in clumps.

Junia had to watch every step she took or she'd stub her toes and probably bloody them. There were the little prickly purple thistles as well, hiding in the tall grass with their feathery thorns.

The walk in itself, she thought, was a trial of pain resistance which she hoped would end soon before her toes became no more.

• • •

Liza and the girls followed Junia and the group under the warm sunshine. The group had all of their belongings strapped to their backs and in the baskets they were carrying.

They walked over slippery sand, between stong smelling pine thickets, and beside silent streams.

Junia fell into step with Tiria and Judith, and the girls chatted. Nicolas added a comment here and there, but their conversations always ended abruptly. Eventually, they walked in silence.

Somehow, Tiria ended up in England. Or her diary did. Or one of her granddaughters did. Or maybe Tiria visited... Liza couldn't be for sure.

The story continued.

• • •

Junia ached from veiled head to sandal-clad toes as they plodded along, a slow pace for the young and elderly.

Although the wound in her hand had turned normal pink instead of red and swollen, it still ached as well. She'd be watching her every move next time she chopped up vegetables.

Or try not to think of Demeterius then.

As Junia walked on that dusty path, the cool wind that blew off the nearby sea seemed to whisper to her gently, soothing the ache and the other little pains she felt from the journey.

Pine needles clung to the hem of her robe, poking at her ankles with a certain twinge. But how could she see them and step around them in the gathering darkness? She hoped they would reach the port soon.

Next, she would be stepping onto a poisonous snake. Her heart raced at the thought. There weren't any snakes on the path now, was there?

Junia glanced down. Instead of seeing snakes, she saw that her robe was ragged and faded. But inside, she felt her smile stretch unto the skies, my heart is getting smoother and richer.

Suddenly, the aches and pains in her body made no difference. She was glad she had been born and was living in these hard times.

Her mother's words from long ago drifted in her ears, “It's the hard things in life that makes us what we are. Out of hardness with endurance, like a soldier, comes strength.” And that was exactly what had happened to her.

Junia had been through the refiner's fire and was now reaping the reward of patience, hope in tomorrow, trust in the unknown and shared a friendship with the most unlikely of people—her brother's sister-in-law, Tiria.

Junia glanced over at Tiria. The girl looked too quiet, much too quiet for talkative Tiria.

Then Junia realized. God had taken them all through the refiner's fire and had purged their souls. He would reward them in days to come and scatter handfuls of blessings along the way.

She raised her eyes to the skies, thanking God. And as her blue eyes lowered back onto the earth, her vision met the blue waters of the Aegean Sea.

They had crossed the neck of land and was on the beach of the Aegean Sea again.

They were already there.

At the port to board the ship to Ikaria.

• • •

Liza shaded her eyes as she watched Junia and the others climb the rope ladders up to the ship.

“Imagine us doing that,” Liza shuddered. “Glad we have our modern conveniences, don't you?”

“Felt like that climbing the stairs to board the plane in Ireland though,” Bibi argued. “That wind! You'll see what I'm talking about when you girls go there.”

“Not long now,” Dinah calculated. “Literally two months and one day!”

“Can't believe it's the last day of June, can you, girls?” Liza turned her face to the sun to catch a few rays. She felt the ground under her do a funny little rumble. “Wa-ait!”

• • •

June 1973.

Rain was beating against the panes of the glass of the window in the hotel in Munich. So much for a nice, sunny day! Liza thought. Take me back to Turkey!